Burnout Busters

I'm pulling together some content for a workshop I'm giving next week (and ultimately turning into an audio file for sale). The topic is recognizing and combatting burnout.



I thought it is important enough info to blog about...after all, even WAHMs are at risk for burning out.



So what is "burnout" exactly? How do you know when you're at that point?



Burnout is an extreme form of stress. It typically happens when stress is poorly (or not at all) managed, and builds up over time. Having experienced this myself, I can say with certainty, it is NOT a place you want to stay in!



Burnout is physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. People who are "burned out" tend to be cynical, very sarcastic, more irritable than normal, and impatient. Productivity decreases and there is a lack of job (and even life) satisfaction. It's different than depression, but can certainly lead to depression.

I experienced burnout relatively early in my career, so I know how terrible it feels. And I also was able to identify the reasons I got to that point - and managed to pull myself out.

You can learn from my mistakes, and avoid it all together. Or if you're already there, take heart that you CAN pull yourself out of that low place.

How?

Balance truly is the key. One of the biggest errors I made was focusing too much on one group of patients as a psychologist. In retrospect, I got too caught up in how "good" I was at it, and how effectively I helped the patients. I failed to appreciate the need to counter balance that with a less intense group of people.

And I really didn't care for myself as well as I should have - I exercised, but not consistently. I generally ate well, but not even most of the time. I had no hobbies, no downtime, no time away from the children. And being in the helping profession amplified the problems.

The solution for me was to shut down my practice. As blessings often happen, mine occured when I discovered coaching - knowing that I could still impact people in a positive way while balancing my life gave me an unexpected lift.

What can you do?

Find your balance. Only YOU can determine what that will be, what that will look like. But you can do it! Start with the end in mind - what will your balanced life look like? How much time will you put in different areas?

Find a hobby/diversion. Make it something that is completely unrelated to your work. Make sure that when you are doing your hobby, you don't feel like you have to be "on." You will then be pulled back into "work" mode. Do something entirely for your enjoyment and pleasure.

Create time for exercise and physical activity. It is a wonderful stress buster, and works at a physiological level to combat the accumulation of stress (which leads to burnout).

Find areas to delegate in work. You can't do it all. You may need a new challenge, a new environment, or a new job all together. But concentrate on your strengths and hire out/staff the rest.

You CAN have a balanced life. I've done it. It wasn't "easy" or overnight. But I followed the same tips from above and created a pretty nice thing for myself and my family.

Why don't you get started today?

To Your Continuing Prosperity,
Anita

Staying busy....

So I had a really busy day today.

I'll admit that my personal WAH situation is different from many because I homeschool my children. And that certainly eats up time that might be spent building business.

Because I don't do business during "school" hours, that forces most of my work to the afternoons and evenings.

As I found out this evening, that schedule sometimes means that things fall through the cracks - like, you know, feeding my child.

So all right, it didn't kill him to wait an extra hour and a half to have dinner. And my husband COULD have made sure to feed Alex before leaving for Lucas' hockey practice.

But as he sits down stairs happily inhaling his mac and cheese, I am reminded that I choose this lifestyle because it fits the values most important to me - family time, true education, and striving to maximize all of our gifts and talents.

I can't say I feel good about poor Alex having to wait so long for dinner (although he was playing with a friend and couldn't have been TOO unhappy!). But neither do I drown myself in guilt.

We all do meaningful, purposeful things every day. We advance our families and work our businesses - in good times and in bad. Sometimes we may have to sacrifice comfort to allow other things to happen. This is a good lesson for all the members of our family - and maybe yours, too.

Guilt sucks. Those who know me, and certainly all of my clients, have heard me say this repeatedly. Moms do SO MUCH over the course of the day. And for those of us managing a business at the same time, we juggle even more.

There is no room for guilt. Guilt and regret are distractions. Let's chuck them out the window and move forward. Because we're working our careers, loving our families, and ignoring the bad economic news.

We're busy. No time for guilt.

To Your Continuing Prosperity,
Anita

Another reason to turn off the TV

I belong to various list serves and online groups, one of which just started a discussion regarding how to manage the stress of the economy. I suggested the importance of turning off the television to manage stress.

Of course I have blogged about that before, and I continuously remind people of the power that media has over how we feel, what we believe, and ultimately how we act. We must be very mindful of what we allow into our awareness.

Need some proof, or more reason? About six or seven years ago, a research study was published analyzing the role of television viewing on mood and emotions. Without getting into boring details, it asked participants to record on an remote device their mood at various times during the day. This data was then transmitted to the researchers.

Guess what? Watching television was associated with a mood equivalent to mild depression, independent of the subject matter being watched.

Now, did the television viewing produce the mood, or vice versa? Likely it was indeed the viewing that "caused" the depressed mood because of the statistics that were used in the study.

The moral of this blog entry? Turn off the TV! Even when the economy starts to rebound!

To Your Continued Prosperity,
Anita

More Tips to Manage Stress

Still need ways to keep your stress level down?

1. Find ONE stress management tip that you will commit to doing for at least one day. And then follow through.

2. Have trouble following through? Get someone to help you. You are not an island, you don't have to slay the dragons all by yourself. Reach out and tell someone what you are trying to do. Publically stating goals increases your committment to them. Plus you'll have someone to hold you accountable to them.

3. Be honest about managing stress. Sometimes people resist making changes in their lives that will decrease stress because they secretly hope that something external to them will happen, magically making all the problems go away.

Do you fantasize that you wake up tomorrow and the economy will be fixed? That more business will just roll right in, and that your spouse will effortlessly find a better job?

Functionally, this wishful thinking becomes a distraction. You "hope" for things to get better, and then put aside the relative inconvenience of developing a new habit, even if it's one that will help you feel better.

4. Have faith in yourself. Know that you have whatever it takes to pull you and your family through tough times. You may not always know what to do or how to do it. But if you can read these words, then you have what it takes. Just have faith and keep moving forward. You might shock yourself with how far you can go!

5. Change your scenery. Sometimes just a change in your surroundings can lower your perception of stress. Sure, it'd be nice if you could wisk away to some Caribbean island for a weekend. But it doesn't have to be that dramatic. Eat lunch in a different place (especially if you tend to eat at your desk). Take a 5 minute walk right after lunch. Pull yourself out of the space that you associate right now with feeling overwhelmed.

And let me know how it works for you! Post your successes or your struggles, and I'll respond!

More Anti-Stress Tips

1. Turn OFF the TV! Nothing more has happened today with the economy that will directly impact you. Act as if nothing has changed.

2. Take regular, deep breaths. When stressed, your body is deprived of the oxygen it really needs. Your muscles tense up as a result and your shallow breathing compounds the situation. Let loose and BREATHE!

3. FAKE it until you make it. It's easy to be dragged down by the news of the day and the events swirling around you. But really ask yourself, if all of those issues were magically resovled TOMORROW when you woke up in the morning....what would you do differently? Probably not much. And if there ARE things you'd do differently, DO THEM anyway.

4. Exercise. Haven't blogged about this in a while, but exercise must become a regular and consistent part of your lifestyle if you expect to have a quality, meaningful life. Find ways to be active, to move your body. They don't have to be dramatic or involve a gym or equipment. You just have to move your body.

5. Work your business. Don't just "do" what people hire you to do - think bigger and go just a little bit farther. Advertise your name/business in one more place today than you normally do. Small steps evolve into big results.

6. Write out THREE main goals for this next month. Make them attainable, measurable, and realistic. Then let me know what they are!

Following these tips will help you increase your sense of control over your life, which will help decrease stress and anxiety (no matter the economic situation!).

To Your Continuing Prosperity,
Anita

Feeling Stressed? Take a Breather....

And I do mean "breathing" in the literal sense!

Listening to bad news all day long, or even for just a few minutes in the morning or evening, can really take a toll on you. It is hard to resist getting pulled into the doom and gloom of what is going on in the world.

But the consequence is that you bring that doom and gloom into your own mindset! It influences how you feel, how you think, and maybe how you act.

Do not give up your personal power to outside influences! First of all, turn off the TV. I promise you that if something really important happens (like that plane that landed on the Hudson), you will hear about it.

I have taken this important step myself. I tend to be a news junkie, but I realized that constantly having that drone in the background plummeted my mood.

It then became a distraction. I was so pulled into whatever issue was being discussed that I failed to work on projects that would BENEFIT me. How crazy is that?

And indeed, I did hear about the plane last week, even though I didn't have the news on. I didn't miss anything! When I chose to turn the news on, the reports were so miraculous - I felt uplifted by watching. Trying to figure out the last time that happened........still thinking......

After you turn off the TV, you'll notice you have much more time, attention, and energy to devote to your own personal life and business. Conduct your life as if nothing unusual is happening, and you will see progress.

Take that breather from the TV. You will not be sorry!

To Your Continued Prosperity,

Anita ( www.dr-anita.com )

There IS NO recession....

Well, all right, maybe that's not entirely true.....

But I titled this blog entry "There IS NO recession" because I wanted to jolt readers into evaluating how the words they say to themselves impact how they feel. In a direct way, concentrating on the "R-word" creates a layer of stress that just doesn't need to be there.

Imagine for the next several minutes that there were no recession. How would your life be different? What would you be doing differently today? How would you be feeling?

Even if you, or your spouse, has lost a job or had to reduce work hours, does blaming it on the recession really help? Does it help you find another job, or figure out how to generate more income?

No disrespect to anyone who has suffered a job loss, by the way! It is a serious and devastating experience, particularly if your savings has also taken a hit.

However, wringing your hands and lamenting about the economy making it harder to find another job simply adds insult to injury.

Release thoughts about the recession and economy. They become distractions, they pull you away from your goal of getting back to work or earning more money. Even if your situation hasn't been affected by the economy, having a "recession-orientation" can have no other result than to make you stressed and worried.

Those thoughts make you feel lousy, bottom line. If your situation is truly bad, then don't make it worse by absorbing the weight of the entire economic picture on your shoulders.

Be in problem-solving mode. Rather that repeating, "The economy is so bad, I can't find a job or make more money," shift to a position of "Where can I look next, where are opportunities I've passed by, what options exist that I've not ever thought of before?"

In no way does this minimize or undermine the hard work and transitions you will have to go through. But you can maintain a lower level of stress and overwhelm by narrowing your focus to the things you have true control over.

To your balanced prosperity,
Anita